PIF - Paying It Forward
December 17, 2017, 02:45:47 AM *
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News: "We ride because we see long lines of cars and trucks, creeping along toward another day, a crummy one just like yesterday. We ride by, glance into those cars and trucks and can't imagine being one of THEM, when we could be, we ARE, one of us." - Maynard Hershon, Citybike, 9/05
 
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Author Topic: Today’s Inappropriate Humor  (Read 143 times)
Hot Rod
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« on: November 06, 2017, 08:01:48 PM »

 
 
1.  I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill.  Apparently a turban, beard, and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.

2.   After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Bob woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realized he had made it home safely.

3.   Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Para-Olympics after they tested positive for WD40.

4.   A teenage boy asks his granny: “Have you seen my pills? They were labeled LSD?”  Granny replies: “ The hell with the pills, did you see the dragons in the kitchen?”

5.   Wife gets naked and asks hubby: “What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?”  Hubby looks her up and down and replies: “Your sense of humor!”   (Hospital visiting hours are 5:00 to 6:00. )

6.   A chap's wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all he did was suggest they should hold auditions for her part. (His viewing will be Saturday from 7:00 till 8:30. )

7.   I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.

8.   I woke up this morning at 9:00, and could sense something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing!  I panicked.  I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald’s serves breakfast all day.

9.   My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door She screamed: "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!"  I replied: "Oh, so now you want me to stay!”

10.  Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week.  When we went to the fair last night it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.

11.   The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with.  I told her: "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"  (The doctor says I should be able to see again in about ten days. The broken arm will take about a month.)
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2007 GL1800 Roadsmith HTS Trike (Newport Blue )
1989 GL1500 (Wineberry)
2000 Escapade Trailer.
Whiz-Kid
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« Reply #1 on: November 07, 2017, 10:14:42 AM »

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oldwing81
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« Reply #2 on: November 07, 2017, 02:28:05 PM »

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Arv DeGroot - Sacred Heart, MN
92 GL1500SE, 81 GL1100, Aspen Classic camper, & Morgan cargo trailer
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